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Building a Relationship with Your Surrogate

Posted: 03/18/21

Written by: Hillary Redwine

For many intended parents, building a relationship with their surrogate is an important part of the
journey because it helps them feel connected and involved in the pregnancy. Perhaps no one
understands this more than Amy Huston, who has two children (Eli and Hallie) carried by different
surrogates and a third on the way.

Amy describes the connection she felt to her first gestational carrier, Myste Robinette, upon reviewing
her match sheet. “In reading the answers to her questions, it seemed like she had the best heart,” Amy
says. “That’s what made me excited about her.”

That initial connection carried over to the in-person meeting when Amy and her husband, Evan, met
with Myste and her family in Waco, Texas. “We bonded over growing up in small towns in Texas,” Amy
says. “I also learned that Myste had experienced several failed transfers for another intended parent,
and I had multiple IVF cycles that didn’t work. It felt like we were willing to take a chance on each
other.”

Because of their proximity with Amy in Austin and Myste in Waco, Amy was able to attend the medical
appointments where Myste’s doctor was very welcoming and understanding of their circumstances with
a surrogate pregnancy. “I was able to hear the heartbeat every time, and the doctor would show me Eli
on the sonogram,” Amy explains. “As a first-time parent, all you want is to see your baby. It was so nice
to be able to go to all of the appointments and feel included in the process.”

Having Amy at the appointments and the bond that developed between them throughout the
pregnancy was special for Myste as well. “I loved that Amy would come up for the appointments and
stay for visits,” Myste says. “She was a great friend throughout the pregnancy, always checking in on me
and asking if I needed anything.”

When it came time for the delivery, Myste’s doctor approved inducing a week early as Eli (who is now
five) was due in December right before Christmas. Amy and Evan wanted to avoid any travel issues and
ensure they would be present for the delivery, which went very smoothly.

“There was no drama with the birth; I don’t think it could have gone any better,” Amy notes. “I was able
to hold Eli right away and do skin-to-skin. It’s been several years now, but I just remember how happy I
felt seeing him for the first time.”

Myste recalls the experience just as fondly. “The joy of getting to see them be parents for the first time
is something I will never forget,” Myste says. “Amy and Evan were over the moon. She was holding Eli,
and Evan was standing behind her. Knowing that I was responsible for helping them become a family
was amazing – that’s not a feeling everyone gets to have.”

Amy and Myste continue to say in touch, even five years later. “We exchange texts and Christmas cards
and have gotten together with Myste and her family over the years,” Amy says. “Our journey started as
a great match, and it has grown into a wonderful relationship.”

When asked what stands out most for Amy across her experiences with multiple surrogates, she says,
“It’s amazing to know that there are people who want to help you have a family as much as you want it
for yourself. Both of our gestational carriers, as different as they are, expressed this desire. They have
given so much of themselves and truly wanted the outcome as much as we did.”

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