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Sisters & Surrogacy: Supporting Each Other Through the Journey

Posted: 02/10/23

 

One of the best things about surrogacy is sisterhood and the community that is created when women come together to support one another through the journey. In honor of Galentine’s Day (Feb. 13th), a holiday dedicated to celebrating female friendships, we want to recognize our incredible Surrogate Solutions community and share the story of two amazing gestational carriers – Amy and Jessica – who are actual sisters!

Amy’s Story

Amy was first inspired to help create a family when her sister, Jessica, experienced secondary infertility after the birth of her first child and was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. Amy was prepared to be an egg donor for Jessica if she wasn’t able to have a successful IVF cycle using her own eggs. Fortunately, IVF was a success, and Jessica is the proud mom of two beautiful kids.

While Jessica didn’t end up needing help, the idea of helping another family stuck with Amy, particularly after she found herself in a similar situation with symptoms of premature ovarian failure. She shares:

At the age of 26, my OBGYN told me I should freeze my eggs. I was single and had just moved to Dallas and bought my first home, which I was in the process of renovating. The last thing on my mind was paying more money to freeze my eggs and store them for who knows how long until Mr. Right would come along. I am now happily married with two beautiful children, who I conceived naturally, and a wonderful stepdaughter. I will never forget that feeling of being told I needed to freeze my eggs and the thought of never being able to have babies of my own. After my husband and I decided our family was complete, I still felt as if my pregnancy journey wasn’t over. That’s when the voice that had been in the back of my mind for so many years came back. I knew it was a sign that this was meant to be – I was called to be a surrogate and cannot wait for my intended parents.

Jessica’s story

As a labor and delivery nurse, Jessica says that she loves “helping families welcome their miracles into the world.” She considered surrogacy early on, even before having her own family. Jessica initially planned to have three children and hoped to do a surrogacy journey between her second and third child. Life had other plans, however, and surrogacy was put on the back burner while she went through IVF to conceive her second child.

In 2021, when Jessica learned that Amy had started the process to become a gestational carrier, her dream of a surrogacy journey was reignited.

My sister reached out to me in December of 2021 and told me she was going to be a surrogate. I told her how I had always dreamed of doing this. Also, more recently, I had been having dreams of delivering another child, with my oldest, who is in high school, being in the delivery room. It didn’t add up to me at the time because I’d had a tubal ligation to prevent any more pregnancies. After Amy suggested I reach out to her agency, my dreams made more sense. I just assumed that since we did IVF with our son and had a history of infertility, I would never be considered by a surrogate agency. However, since our infertility was due to my ovarian reserve and not my uterus, I was cleared to proceed. In February 2022, my husband and I applied to Surrogate Solutions and started this journey. If Amy hadn’t told me she was going down this path, I wouldn’t have even pursued it because I didn’t think it was an option for us.

Jessica matched with her intended parents last spring, who she describes as “an amazing couple.” The timing has taken longer than planned as Jessica has navigated some unexpected health issues, and she is hopeful the transfer date will be scheduled soon.

My advice for anyone considering this journey is to expect the unexpected. In a perfect world, I would have already transferred and would be halfway through the pregnancy. I have faith we will get there. God just decided to make our story a little longer. We couldn’t have matched with a more perfect couple. We will hopefully have new friends for life through this process.

Supporting each other While they live about six hours apart with Amy in Texas and Jessica in Kansas, the sisters maintain a close relationship and stay connected through surrogacy. Amy shares:

Support from someone who can relate is everything. The best part about going through this with my sister is having someone to talk to. We both have families, and one thing you don’t really understand before signing up for this is the waiting part. It means delaying plans a little longer, missing out on family/holiday traditions, putting your summer plans on hold, and not being able to plan. I know it’s such a small sacrifice that your family endures for you to be able to give another family such an amazing gift, but some days you just have to be reminded of this.

Jessica adds: It has been a huge relief to have someone understand all the frustrations and setbacks. It’s nice to get to vent to Amy, and she completely understands where I’m coming from. We both text each other and support each other through the ups and downs of this whole process. It’s nice to have someone understand exactly what you’re going through each step of the way. My family is so excited to help another couple build their family. We just want to skip through to the end and see them get their happy ending!

Final thoughts

We are so grateful to Amy and Jessica and all of our amazing surrogates who are selflessly committed to helping intended parents create the family of their dreams. While incredibly worth it, the journey is not always an easy one, and the support of other surrogates can make a huge difference. We have an active Facebook group where GCs connect to offer support, advice, and encouragement along their journeys.

 

We help Intended Parents Create Happy Families via Egg Donation & Surrogacy with the help of caring Egg Donors & Surrogates.

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